Whenever the new year rolls around, we might find ourselves re-evaluating different aspects of our lives in an effort to better ourselves, to be better in the new year, to improve upon behaviors or actions that in the previous year did us a disservice. In doing so, we may make changes for the better, but we might also find ourselves setting expectations that are otherwise unattainable due to varying factors.
For the purposes of this post, we will look at a few different “New year, new you” personas that have been shared with me. We will look at the pros and cons of each persona and how the behavioral changes can be beneficial or detrimental. Remember, any suggestions provided are not a substitute for therapy, nor are they to be treated as therapy. They are anecdotal and meant for providing some insight to consider when looking at your own lives. And as always, if you wish to make a change in your life, there is no better time than today and no need to wait for the first day of a new year, the first day of a new month, or the first day of a new week. Making changes sooner rather than later will give more time to reap the benefits or correct the behaviors that prevent success.
The Money Saver
Motto: “New year, new budget!”
The Money Saver persona comes from an individual who feels that with the new year, a change in how money is being spent needs to be enforced. This can be enforced on a single individual or on an entire family unit. Often times, we will spend money to save money. “Honey, I bought us an espresso machine! It only cost $800 and will pay for itself in 3 year!”
Pros: Encourages individuals to evaluate how they have been spending money to make smarter money decisions in the future.
Cons: Often can backfire or be overwhelming when a significant change, such as money-spending decisions, are imposed or enforced without prior discussion.
Recommendations: If you are looking at making a change in how you spend your money and want professional support or advice, it would be wise to consider speaking with a financial adviser. If that is out of the realm of possibilities, start by exploring and evaluating what you are spending your money on, what items are necessities versus luxuries. One thing that I often find curious is buying bottles of water. If you can afford a bottle of water every day, you can afford to invest in a long-term reusable/refillable water bottle that can be refilled and carried with you. In the long-run, you will be saving money that can be put towards other expenses, and you will be keeping from having plastics end up littering our world.
The Project Tackler
Motto: “2021, I’m going to finish all my projects!”
I know that I am guilty of occasionally having had a Project Tackler persona. I start tons of projects and for reasons known or unknown, struggle to get them completed. Sometimes life gets in the way and prevents me from moving forward with a project, other times it may be a budgeting issue. I’ve even had the weather impact my success in completing a project. More often than not, it has been motivation that is lacking.
For someone who is looking at having the Project Tackler persona as part of their “new year, new you” vow, consider the following: what has previously prevented you from finishing projects? Are there internal or external obstacles that get in the way of your success?
Pros: Having a Project Tackler persona encourages individuals to complete projects that have been started but abandoned, for whatever the reason may be.
Cons: This can quickly feel like an overwhelming situation with having started too many projects and not having the means to complete all of them.
Recommendations: Make a list of the projects that you have started and have not finished, as well as a list of the projects that you are looking at starting. Then prioritize the projects to address which ones are more crucial or time-sensitive than others. For example: If you have on your project list to replace the vent for your clothes dryer because the time in which it takes to dry your clothes has been significantly increased due to a clogged vent might be a higher priority than fixing the hem on the dress you said you wanted to wear during the summertime even though currently it is January and too cold to wear. Prioritizing your projects will help to minimize the “must do” list and alleviate the pressure to finish all the projects that were started.
The Better Mom
Motto: “New year, new mom!”
The Better Mom persona can also be categorized as The Better Person, often encouraging yourself to engage by replacing negative behaviors with positive ones. Instead of making small changes that can improve your reactions, outlooks or perspectives, this persona takes on doing a complete 180 and trying to change EVERYTHING 100% from what it was to something brand new. Typically, is this going to work? No. Simply, just no.
Pros: Recognizing what kinds of behaviors need to be changed to improve interpersonal relationships and various situations.
Cons: Ending up crying on the floor that you failed when you were trying to improve yourself. Never a good look.
Recommendations: I’ve said it before, I’ll keep saying it - start small. Do some self-reflection in situations that maybe end unfavorably for you or others and check to see if there is something that you could have done differently. There is no need for drastic changes, unless your behaviors are wildly out of control and needing that kind of overhaul. Usually, making a small change to the tone of your voice, taking a breath before responding, giving space before engaging, can help a situation for everyone. It’s also important to remember that everything you are doing is not being done wrong. Often times it is the combination of how you react, how others respond, and what the outcomes are. You can’t control all aspects of a situation, but you can control how you react and treat a situation. Sometimes making a small change in one area can have a great influence on other areas of concern.
The Exerciser
Motto: “New year, new body!”
The Exerciser is the most commonly created persona with the start of the new year. How often do we hear that the local gym is now offering “Happy New Year! Free Activation with a New Membership! Just $20 a month!” and are eager to sign up with the gym to get the ideal body and by the time February rolls around the gyms are half full because it is difficult to commit to a workout routine.
I know that I have had the Exerciser persona before, even following a break-up, and think that spending the money on a membership will motivate me enough to get to the gym and work towards my health goals. “My goal this year is to get fit and healthy!” How many times have you said that?
Pros: Being excited about getting fit and healthy is always a good thing. Physical, and mental, health are crucially important to our well-being.
Cons: Sticking with it. Too often we set the bar really high for ourselves and can become discouraged when we do not see immediate results from our efforts. Statistics say that it can take up to 4 weeks for you to see your body change, up to 8 weeks for friends and family to see a change, up to 12 weeks for the rest of the world to notice a change. Here’s the challenge with the Exerciser persona: you will be motivated initially and have 200% dedication to stick with your exercise and fitness goal. But how long does that motivation and dedication last? It often takes more energy to keep up the motivation and dedication than it requires to actually complete the exercise regime.
Recommendations: Maybe consider toning it down a bit (see what I did there? lol). Start small and be realistic. Realistically, you are not going to start January 1st by going on a 3 mile run and not feel overwhelmed, discouraged, and in extreme pain afterwards. So if losing weight and getting fit is a goal for the year, start small. Maybe start with a walk and see how you feel afterwards. Change up the activities by adding bicycling, HIIT exercises, weight training, etc. Remember, you made that commitment for the YEAR, not by the end of January. You have time to cycle through feeling motivated and feeling lazy, losing weight and gaining weight back, and trying out different routines to find what works best for you and your schedule. The best recommendation I have, is be true to yourself and keep moving forward.
The Realist
Motto: “New year, same me!”
For some of us, there is no resolution that needs to be made, attempted to be kept, and then discarded. I am not a huge fan of New Year’s resolutions. I feel that if you want to make a change in your life, you shouldn’t wait until January 1st to do it. I also think that there are years that will come and go and no changes will happen at all and that it can be for the best. While it is important to self-reflect and take a reading on how you’ve been doing, saving that for the last day of the year is also not the best practice.
Recommendation: Take a moment to self-reflect as often as possible. Maybe it comes in the form of a weekly check-in with yourself to see how you are feeling, how things have been developing, and if there are any things that you would like to see change. Making these realizations in small doses also makes achieving goals much more reasonable and manageable. Whatever you chose to do, whoever you chose to be, be true to yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you have.
