Many years ago I found myself joining the ranks of Stella & Dot stylists and working on a side-hustle while going to graduate school and working part-time. In the moment, it was a good thing for me because it reminded me of lessons I had learned previously in other situations that I had forgotten.
One such lesson: my vibe attracts my tribe.
For most of my thus-far adult life, I have really struggled to make friends. I find myself most comfortable with people who I have known since I was a little kid and grew up with through the most awkward of teenage years and hardest of college years, navigating adulting together. These people have always been my tribe. They have been with me through good times and bad. They are the primary participants in my fondest memories of weekend plans, summer camps, and vacation trips. They just get me.
So when I have to think about making friends as an adult, the thought is a little daunting. To maybe put it simply, I don’t really like people. Or maybe people don’t really like me. I can be abrasive, brutally honest, sincere, and ridiculous all wrapped into a bundle of human. My humor is not appreciated by many and my face is typically in the “resting bitch” state. But for some bizarre reason, people still approach me and socialize, or attempt to socialize, or I attempt to socialize with them.
So apparently, I have a vibe, like many other people do, that attracts a certain type of individual. Is that a good thing? Possibly. It might be a bad thing too. The way in which I exude myself, my character and personality, is what draws people to me, as it does for any individual. Not everyone will like my cup of tea, and not everyone will want to be friends with me - and that’s okay. Ultimately, friendship is a choice, and the people who choose to be friends with me are having that reciprocated in that I choose to be friends with them.
Something that I have recently discussed is that it is far more important to have a small group of close, good friends, rather than a large group of mediocre friends. You could have 100 friends, and still feel alone if none of them are good friends. Or you could have one or two good friends and feel fulfilled in the friendship department of life. Or you find yourself in a similar boat as I am in and have multiple friend groups who provide friendship in various aspects of life. I have childhood friends - these are my “from womb to tomb” friends who will always be there with me. I have work friends - people who I have befriended in the workplace, who are often MIA over the weekends, which is fine, and provide laughs and camaraderie during the workweek. I have friends that have developed through nonprofit organizations that I work with who have similar interests in developing these organizations and expanding on their outreach. I have family friends who are members of my family that have transcended the decorum of family interactions and are now in the friend zone (which is a good thing!).
All of these various friend groups and individuals who I consider friends are part of my tribe. They are each in their own way attracted to me as an individual and like to have me be a part of their tribe as well. So if you ever find yourself attracting “the wrong kind of friend”, consider an introspective of your vibe - what are you exuding to others that attracts this kind of person?
