What is this feeling
So sudden and new?
We have all likely had some new and different feelings. We find ourselves overly involved in our minds and thoughts, losing grip on reality at times, forgetting what day of the week it is because they have all started to melt together.
I am going to be completely honest with all of you. Since the coronavirus hit California and we have been social distancing since mid-March, I am proud to say that I have broken down, whether it be a meltdown or panic attack, more than a handful of times. I all of a sudden find myself in tears, or yelling at my partner, and typically over something trivial and inconsequential. It just happens.
But what I do differently than most other people (maybe), I let it happen. I let it play itself out. I let myself experience all of the feelings that have been bottled up inside since we have been bottled up inside our homes trying to stay safe and healthy during these uncertain times.
The main reason why I let it happen and let it out is because it takes a lot more effort and energy to keep it bottled up inside. You exert far less of yourself if you just let yourself cry, scream or exhale then if you try to keep yourself from crying, screaming or exhaling. You exhaust your heart, your mind, yourself so much that when you do finally let it out, it comes as a giant, uncontrollable, unpredictable tidal wave of thoughts and emotions. All of these become compounded and mixed together without rhyme or reason, leaving us feeling completely helpless and overwhelmed. And in these situations, we often feel completely lost, with no evidence of a raft or other floatation device to help us stay afloat in a massive wave of our own creation.
Now, it is fair to say that we may feel a wave of emotions even if we do allow ourselves to experience all of these feelings, however in those situations we are more capable of managing and regulating them so that we are able to identify what they are, understand how we can address them and then utilize coping strategies to help reduce the (typically) unwanted emotions.
Imagine a soda can. Its contents being our thoughts and emotions, and the can itself, well that would be us - our brains, our hearts - just us. Now imagine that soda can has been shaken up every single day, possibly multiple times a day, for a week, or a month even. The contents of the can have now been agitated for a while and are ready to burst. Even if we are careful to release just a little bit of that pressure, we are likely going to make a mess, lose some of the contents, and then have to clean up what is otherwise a preventable situation. With one last bit of pressure added to the can, by one final straw, the can is opened with full force and a wave of soda explodes in all directly, soaking everyone with its contents
Let’s now imagine that same soda can being shaken up a bit, let’s say because something has upset you that day (getting stuck in traffic, spilling coffee on your outfit, etc.), the contents become a little less controllable when the can gets opened. But open the can slowly, that same day letting some of the pressure and air out, and we can not only figure out how to address the issue that has caused us to become upset, but we are also eventually able to open the can fully and once again enjoy the contents, without losing too much of whatever is inside.
If we allow ourselves to experience emotions as they come, little by little, we are more equipped to engage ourselves to regulate these emotions, preventing losing ourselves … and our soda can contents.
